


Unbeing Dead

by KrisEleven



Category: Circle of Magic - Tamora Pierce, Emelan - Tamora Pierce, PIERCE Tamora - Works
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, Forum: Goldenlake
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-31
Updated: 2012-12-31
Packaged: 2017-11-23 01:41:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 362
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/616661
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KrisEleven/pseuds/KrisEleven
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>At first, being alive took up much of Rosethorn's energy. As she built up her strength, more tasks were added until Rosethorn didn't have time to think about that garden on the other side and how much easier it was there than here.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Unbeing Dead

**Author's Note:**

> For Goldenlake's Summer Olympics, this takes place during the end of Briar's Book, before the last bit that jumps ahead to summer.

At first, being _alive_ took up much of Rosethorn's energy. As she built up strength to do more than just sit up in bed and force her mouth to shape sounds it had forgotten, more tasks were added until there were weeds to pull and four rowdy children to corral and medicines to replenish and Lark to reassure and Crane to ignore and harvest and services and speaking and lessons. Rosethorn didn't have time to think about that garden on the other side and how much easier it was there than here.

So she dreamt about it, and all she had lost in coming back. Because she had lost, even if no one (even if Rosethorn, especially) refused to acknowledge it. There had been peace and health and rest there, and Rosethorn was so very tired. All the responsibilities and all her shortcomings wore at her, and to have that lifted just showed how much weight she was carrying.

To have it put back upon her showed how very heavy it was.

In her dreams, she is standing in the garden and, just for a moment, she can feel herself able to relax. She looks around and knows that she is _home_ and at peace. But at the end of the dream, she turns expecting to see Briar standing there and the pathway out of the garden is closed, her boy has not come.

Rosethorn wakes up crying.

Because she lost something, coming back, but she knew very well what she was doing. Tomorrow, she will have breakfast with Lark and the children and give Briar his lessons while they sit in the sun of her garden together. Perhaps Crane will stop by to bicker with her. She will love the girls and she will kiss Lark and she will look around Discipline and know she is where she belongs. She will live. It will be hard; maybe not tomorrow, but it will be hard again, someday, and Rosethorn will remember peace that was lost to her.

She will not regret coming back. Maybe un-being dead is harder than expected, but being alive... it is worth it.

It is worth it all.


End file.
